


The Water’s Lovely

by starprise_entership



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Trans!Julian, in which i think about how attitudes towards trans people might be like in the 24th century, take this as a pride month gift from me, takes place late season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 08:00:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14828472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starprise_entership/pseuds/starprise_entership
Summary: How odd,remarks Garak silently.Scars are rare, now, since the technology to remove them has long been in existence.—Julian and Garak go for a swim in the holosuites.





	The Water’s Lovely

“When was the last time you had a good swim, Garak?” Julian laughs, throwing the drawstring bag over his shoulder. He stops in his tracks, waiting for Garak to catch up.

“Well, given that there aren’t many natural bodies of water on Cardassia to begin with,” starts Garak, “I’d say that the easy answer to your question is perhaps, _never_.”

“Being in water can be quite a therapeutic experience.” Julian explains. “Besides, there’s all this nature to look at and admire.”

Garak scoffs. “You do remember that we’re still in one of Quark’s holosuites, right? None of this is real.”

“Don’t you want to put everything behind just for one second, Garak?” Julian lets out a sad sigh. “I know with what’s going on and all, none of us are exactly doing great. I’m not really feeling up to doing recreational activity myself, but Captain Sisko has insisted that I take an hour or two off.”

“But why here?” Garak questions. “I thought you’d feel a lot more at home in your secret agent holosuite programme.”

“Variety is the spice of life, I guess.” Julian suggests. “I just wanted to be somewhere quiet today.”

They’ve reached the small lake in the middle of the forest. Calm and serene, the water laps rhythmically at the banks as a gentle breeze blows past. It feels like a private hideaway, but yet open enough for Garak not to feel trapped.

Julian stands facing the breeze, the fabric of his wrap-around shirt gently flowing in the wind, like the ripples of the lake that stand before them.

As Julian removes his shirt and trousers and drops them into a pile next to his drawstring bag, Garak can’t help but notice the two faint scars that run from underneath his arms to near the centre of his chest, just under his sternum. He isn’t pale enough for them to stand out much, but they’re noticeable enough for Garak to see.

 _How odd_ , remarks Garak silently. _Scars are rare, now, since the technology to remove them has long been in existence._

Garak watches Julian wade into the shallows, almost bare save for his shorts. Once the water’s up to his chest, he kicks off from the dirt underneath his feet and starts to swim, following the bank of the lake.

 _He’s fast,_ Garak muses, as Julian makes a turn five minutes later and starts to swim back to where he started. _Like one of those aquatic earth creatures. Fish, wasn’t it?_

When Julian reaches his original spot in the water, he calls for Garak to follow. “Oh, come on in! The water’s lovely.”

“The water’ll be freezing when I get in!” Garak protests, crossing his arms.

“Oh, fine,” Julian says, rolling his eyes. “Computer, raise the temperature of the water by five degrees celsius.”

“Only five degrees?” Garak asks, wide-eyed, when a beep sounds to signal that the computer has complied with Julian’s demands.

“If the temperature of the water’s too high, humans might tend to get light-headed.” Julian explains. “Computer, what is the the current temperature of the water?”

_“The current temperature is thirty degrees celsius.”_

“It should be warm enough for you, Garak.” Julian moves back to the bank of the lake. Shaking himself off, he approaches Garak, who has already moved to undo the clasps on his tunic.

Undressing Garak is quite a tedious task. As Julian helps him to quicken the process, Garak’s gaze can’t help but dart to the scars on Julian’s chest again. Aware of Garak’s preoccupation with them, Julian says nothing but his expression is mildly apprehensive, Garak notes.

Garak decides that stripping down to his undergarments is enough, and with that he follows Julian into the water, shivering as his skin comes into contact.

“Still too cold for comfort, eh?” Julian raises an eyebrow. He stops when the water reaches his shoulders. Garak approaches, skeptical.

“Oh, it’s perfectly safe.” Julian assures. “The holodeck safeties are on, and this programme is designed not to drown us.” He extends a hand to Garak, who takes it firmly and pulls Julian towards him. With a delighted hum, Julian pulls Garak into an embrace upon reaching him, coiling his long, slender arms under Garak’s and coming together in the centre of his back. Desperate to get more of Julian’s warmth, Garak presses his front to Julian’s, basking in his body heat.

The sun shines down, reflecting off the water droplets which drip off Julian’s hair and roll across his face. “Now, that isn’t so bad, isn’t it?”

“It’s only bearable because of your body heat,” retorts Garak. “I would have never come here on my own.”

“You wouldn’t come here on your own, despite the picturesque view?” laughs Julian, taking advantage of their close proximity and leaning in for a playful peck on the lips. “But you’ve got such an eye for beauty.”

“Beauty, like truth, is in the eye of the beholder.” challenges Garak, before being cut off by another kiss.

“I can’t believe Quark has this program in his collection,” adds Julian, after coming apart for air. “Jadzia recommended it for relaxation, and I can tell that it’s working.”

His smile drops slightly as he changes the subject. “I didn’t think I would use this program ever. You see, I hated swimming when I was younger.”

“But things are different now, aren’t they?” Garak points out. “I could see how at ease you were when you swam.”

“The last time I went swimming was a terribly long time ago.” Julian recalls. “I was much younger then.”

“And what were different about those previous experiences?” Garak shifts in Julian’s grip.

“Garak, you do remember what I told you about my past, don’t you?”

“The part about your,” Garak hesitates, knowing that the issue was still fresh, “genetic enhancements?” The words leave a sour taste in his mouth.

Julian shakes his head. “Not that part. I meant the part about being born female. You must’ve been curious when you saw my scars earlier.”

Garak nods. “Yes, I remember that.”

“For the longest time before my transition, I felt that I was trapped in the wrong body.” Julian admits, sighing. “It’s technically more complicated than that, with the enhancements and all.”

“Swimming was a compulsory module in the physical education curriculum at school,” Julian starts again, “and my parents would only let me wear traditionally feminine swimming costumes. They were old fashioned. I don’t mean that they were just stuck with the ideals of their generation, I mean they were _very_ old fashioned. They’ve held onto traditional beliefs that would’ve been outdated even two centuries ago. And there were the physical differences between myself and the boys in my class…”

“Your appearance was not biologically male back then, and it upset you greatly when you had to partake in these lessons.”

“I enjoyed the feeling of being in the water. It was freeing. Being able to move about without having to touch the ground felt like defying gravity and the experience was astonishing to me when I was younger.” says Julian, shrugging. “It was just my body I was uncomfortable with. I couldn’t enjoy the experience any more when all I could think about was being trapped in a body I felt wasn’t mine.”

“The scars on your chest suggest that you’ve undergone some form of chest reconstruction surgery to alleviate the negative feelings associated with your body.” Garak infers. “And the scars…”

“I chose not to have them removed, though they could’ve been easily removed with a dermal regenerator.” Julian continues. “And you’re curious why, I presume.”

“I requested for the incisions to heal naturally instead of having them closed with a dermal regenerator. Such requests are fairly common, for individuals like me. For me, I felt that scars could be an emotionally valuable marker of my transition process.” He goes silent for a while, contemplating. He shifts lower against Garak to allow himself to rest his head against Garak’s chest.

Garak hears nothing aside from the lapping of the water and Julian’s heavy breathing against his chest.

“Julian?” Garak speaks up, giving Julian’s shoulder a gentle pat.

“I kept them as a reminder of my choice to let myself be at peace with my own body.” Julian says, and looks up at Garak. “And that’s a choice I don’t regret.”

“Thank you for letting me be safe with you, Garak.”

Garak bites back the usual scathing remark that Julian _probably should think twice before making such a claim._ Instead, he nods silently as he rests his head upon Julian’s shoulder. Nothing else is said until the computer chimes in with the reminder that their holosuite time will be up in five minutes, and they proceed to head back to shore.

 

 

 


End file.
